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| Hopefully if your dreams of cave/mountain dwelling are real, you don't turn out like this guy... |
I feel that when we have these days, nearly everything people do will get on your nerves. From anything as simple as someone in front of you at the store who has a coupon that won't ring up, to something as frustrating as being constantly nagged at about chores by your parents who don't trust you, it won't take much to make you tip. If people aren't careful around you on those days, who knows? Maybe you'll snap and crazy-murder people. Hopefully not, but maybe.
What's worse, is that the way life works out, it seems all of the things you want the least tend to happen the most on these days. I'm convinced that it's these days I believe in Murphy's law the most. Oh, you just want to be on the internet without your messages blowing up? Well, too bad, because Grandma wanted to check if you were taking your vitamins, that one person from your old school wants to get to know you again, and a group message with 75 people decides to add you into the mix. Why must the world be so unfair??
People. Because people run the world. And they ruin it for you.
(This cave dwelling idea is starting to sound a lot more attractive at this point...)
To make matters worse, is that if you are nice enough to contact a human during any point in your hate-humanity-phase, you might not sound like yourself as much, and receive the notorious question, "Are you okay?" Palms begin to sweat. Eyebrows squish together. Fingers nervously hover over the keyboard. You try to breathe, but it seems to get caught in your throat. How are you supposed to respond to that? You could always answer honestly, and just simply say, "I am avoiding all human contact and am packing my things so I can dwell in a cave forever so I don't crazy-murder the human race." But chances are, you may be admitted to a mental facility if you try that one. Oh, if you were hoping I had the answer, I am sorry to crush dreams here folks, but I have not yet discovered the key to that bomb of a question. My deepest, sincerest apologies.
Anyways, getting out of the hate-humanity phase can be a difficult one. So, lucky for you, I have a few simple remedies.
Step One: Do NOT go on Facebook. I repeat. DO NOT GO ON FACEBOOK.
Why? Because first of all, it's social media. You will more than likely run into an unwanted encounter if you approach it.
How? Try Pinterest instead. You can meander through funny pictures, recipes for delicious food that will cure a bad day, maybe even a few quotes that fit your mood. Whatever you need, Pinterest has it.
Step Two: DO eat a snickers.
Why? Because you're not you when you're hungry.
How? Go to the store and buy the whole display box. You probably need more than one.
Step Three: Do NOT listen to love songs.
Why? You are clearly not in the loving mood, so anything that goes against your mood right now is probably a bad idea.
How? Listen to good old 80's rock instead.
Step Four: DO move breakable things out of reach.
Why? In case you have a rage explosion, it's best to have things out of your way.
How? Very carefully, hide all of your fragile objects in cupboards, drawers, and wrapped in bubble wrap.
Step Five: Do NOT watch chick flicks.
Why? At this point, chick flicks will make you more angry than anything else. Save the cheesy unrealistic romance stories for a different time.
How? Check out Cutthroat Kitchen. The show of ultimate sabotage will make you feel better.
Step Six: DO play video games.
Why? Better you kill virtual people than real ones.
How? Pick up Call of Duty and an Xbox controller.
Step Seven: Do NOT go in public.
Why? You will probably destroy more lives than save.
How? Try staying in the house for today, and take a nap. The world will thank you for not slaughtering the people within it.
I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors. Hopefully these tips help you out!
Due to my blog post being pretty short today, I thought you might like to see how much you really hate people. Take the quiz on Buzzfeed here.
Hope you all enjoyed my little rant today, let me know what you think in the comments!
Love Always,
Amber <3
